"The Diary Of Jane" - Breaking Benjamin

"The Diary Of Jane"

If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?

And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

No!

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.

Try to find out what makes you tick.
As I lie down
Sore and sick.
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

There's a fine line between love and hate.
And I don't mind.
Just let me say that
I like that
I like that

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.

Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love.
Die for anyone
What have I become?

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

Friends 4 ever

you'r my friend and that is true,
but the gift was given from me to you.
we went thru moments that were good and bad,
even moments that were happy and sad.







you suported me when i was in tears,
we stuck together when we were in fear,
its really sad that it had to be this way,
but it has reached its very last day.
miles away cant keep us apart,
'cause you'll always be in my heart.

Friends

A friend is like a flower,
a rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
A friend is like a heart that goes
strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
if we didn't have a friend.

Roses for the dead

Just to say we're sorry
For the black eyes and bleeding lips
When it's hard to forget
How many lies we told,
Or how we'd grow
Before i said goodbye
So lets scrape our knees on the playground

It's not your fault
You feel okay,
It's too late in the day
It's not your fault,
You feel betrayed,
And can't come out to play

I never listened to a word,
You never said,
I never listened to a word,
You never said,

Wasting the hours now,
We're all suckers for tragedies,
We'll start this over again,
And you bring us to our knees,

As sunrise comes,
And the story will sell
A few hundred papers,
So we'll follow you up!

It's not your fault
You feel okay,
It's too late in the day
It's not your fault,
You feel betrayed,
And can't come out to play

I never listened to a word,
You never said,
I never listened to a word,
You never said,

So raise your hands up high,
And let this rain pour on,
So raise your hands up high,
And Wash us away,

Like innocence and childbirth
You look just like your mother,
And you look just like your father

Forgive him our father,
Your son is smiling
So lay roses around you...

LOVE HURTS

Can't Stand The Pain
Can't Make It Go Away

LLLCSD

... LIVE ... LOVE ... LAUGH ... CRY ... SMILE ... DIE ...

Love me when im gone

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

Hold me when I'm scared

And love me when I'm gone

Everything I am

And everything in me

Wants to be the one

You wanted me to be

I'll never let you down

Even if I could

I'd give up everything

If only for your good

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

You can hold me when I'm scared

You won't always be there

So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone...

I have been through it all ...

I have been through it all

I had my fall

Life gets pretty hard

But you have deal with your dealt cards

I have been raped heart broken

Many times

I have tried to be outspoken

But the words wont come out of my mind

I keep taking it day by day

Will i ever stop feeling this way

people say that they understand

But do they really comprehend

They dont know how i truly feel

If they felt this way how would they deal?

cut after cut

I want to see myself bleed

They understand why i do this to me

People say its not right

but its something they dont have to live with

everyday i get sadder

Just by looking at my wrist

One day it will be over and they will see

If only some one would have rescued me

I'm not going to make it

I told another lie today

No one saw through my games

I feel all so unbeautifully...

Lonely...

Cant seem to be able to breathe...

No one seems to care...

I might look happy...S

tanding there...

But on the inside

The blood stained on my hands...

Becomes real again...

Drips into the wounds of my pain...

That will never heal...

When I am alone...

In these woods...

Those glass-like tears...

Form in my eyes...

Then I scream...

No one seems to care...

And listen...

When the glass-like tears...

Reach the ground...

They shatter...

My Voice is beginning...

To slow down...

It soon will fade away

FOREVER...

Then when I walk away into the fog...

So will I...I'll be lost...

FOREVER...

Never to be seen again...

Why do is it hurt so much?

What do you do

if you don't know wrong from right

what do you do

if you cant tell darkness from light

what do you do

if you learn to hate

what do you do

when you forget to appreciate

what happens

to those that don't stick around

what happens

when you stop hearing sound

what happens

when no one seems to care

what happens

when you need someone there

where do you go

when you cant take the pain

where do you go

when you feel heartbreak over an over again

where do you go

when no one picks up the phone

where do you go

if no one even cares if you come home

why does each day get harder to go on

why does it feel like no one would even care

if i was gone

why does this life hurt so much

why?

You said you loved me

But you were going to break my heart,

You said you would love me forever,

So why are we apart?

If you really meant forever

Than say you will try,

Cause you once said forever,

and that made me cry.

..

FORGIVE ME & FORGET ME

Razor Blade Romance Written On My Arm

The screaming is much louder now

Yet silenced through a blade

The painful tears much noticeable

Through all the lies I’ve made

I smile wide & close my eyes

As not to show no fear

The time for death is coming close

And slinking nearer and nearer

I cover up with long sleeves

To hide the pain I’ve bled

I cover up with broken smiles

To hide the skin I’ve shred

Here I am ..

Sadness has taken over my life

I cry and think of dying every night

I can’t smile without faking it

And I can’t find a laughter in sight

Here I am Lying here

Looking up at the stars

Wishing I was dead

Help me, save me

I once was calling for you

I haven't got over you

But I’ll never get over of what I did to you

And I’ll be with that pain for the rest of my life...

I’m Leaving Now For Good

Too much crying

Too many tears

Depression,soulless

So many fears

Caused by you and all that u do

To hurt me so

Now I need to go

Be gone from this place

No longer seeing your face

Leave here now you know

I’ve tried

Always looked to suicide

To be happy, and not sad

Sick of being so mad.

So I’m gone, done

I thought you were my only one

I was wrong. I always am

I guess its all part of a greater plan.

But not for me

Because I am bout to leave

It’s for the better

Since were not together

Maybe one day well see each other.

Can't Take This

This isn’t a poem, it’s my suicide note...of course I cut and cut…I lived through it all

I can’t stand it no longer!!

I need help but no one every cares!

When my heart is breaking no ones there to save me!!

I hope that in my next life I won’t feel the way I do everyday!!

I’m just ready to die!!

So I say goodbye to all the ones I love!!

Please don’t cry I want you to be strong!!

Because I will always be in your heart!!

Goodbye, see ya in my next life!!

Don’t let me fade away from your heart when I’m gone!!

Yeas my body is gone but soul still hurts!!!

I’m gone and out of sight but don’t worry I’m alright!!

I’m bleeding tons…goodbye

To Everyone

When I die do not cry,

For it will be a happy day

No more tears, fears, and no more pain

When I die, please go on.

I would want nothing more but for you to stay strong

Alright, here's what I’m really trying to say.

I hate this life I’m living, I wanted to die.

No more loneliness,

No more pain,

No more tears I have to cry.

I sit in this room half the day.

Slowly but surely, I was drifting away.

Away from myself, family, and friends.

And since your reading this

I guess it’s the end.

I loved you all, but hated the person I became.

Living a life fake, and full of shame.

So now that I’m gone,

Do not cry.

I have no more tears, fears, and no more pain.

I had everything to lose and nothing to gain.

I loved you all, don’t worry we shall meet again.

I WANT TO DIE

I’m sitting in my room dark and empty

Nobody to hold me

Nobody to care

I’m thinking of all the fu*ked up stuff

I just want to die

Knifes I love you

Blades you sting

either way you

make me believe

I’m still alive

SORRYY

I’m sorry of being so emotional

I’m sorry of being so possessive

I’m sorry that I cry for you

I’m sorry because I can’t live without you

I’m sorry for the tears you shed

I’m sorry for the damage I made

I’m sorry I’ve made you sick

Sorry I hurt you so deep

I’m sorry for giving you sleepless nights

I’m sorry for each and every fight

I’m sorry for your pain & agony

I’m sorry for the missing harmony

I’m sorry for my selfish love

I’m sorry for not caring enough

I’m sorry for my restlessness

I’m sorry for the losing grace

I’m sorry my friend I made you mad

I’m sorry darling you are so sad

Sorry for not giving you any happiness

Sorry because it’s my disgrace

I’m sorry for thinking of you so very much

I’m sorry I always miss your touch

I’m sorry of being so mad about you

I’m sorry for my every blue

I’m sorry of being so immature

I’m sorry now that can’t be cured

I’m sorry of being myself

I’m sorry that I’ve failed

I’m sorry and sorry again

I’m sorry of being insane

But believe me that I love you

Should I say sorry for that too?

Broken

I see me sitting sadly in the corner

Knees drawn up tightly to my chest.

Mind and body wreaked in sorrow

As tears course down my face.

I pray to a God I don't believe in

Yet I curse him in the same breath.

I look at me with narrowed eyes

Pitying the sorry creature I have become.

I look into my wretched soul

Cursing the emptiness inside.

Emptiness put there by my own stupidity.

As I stand over the huddling form of myself

I see I have gotten what I deserved from life.

I had no right to the beautiful love we shared

When the love rightfully belonged to her.

Sadly I watch the shell of myself slowly cracking

Oozing out all the pain and misery within my soul.

There on top of all the shattered pieces

Lay my beating heart, all alone.

I gently pick it up and place it where it belongs.

May it rest in peace forever.

Make it Okay

Only you can ...

I've been listening to (untitled) for 3 days ... I heared it many times ... I don't know I'm obssessed with it ... I feel that it talks about me ...

yeah I made my mistakes but I got no where to run ... its true how could this happen to me??

It reminds of my bad days ... the days that made me lose many pple I loved ... I know then that I will never see them again

Sorry won't bring them back and won't take my pain away ... I hope they are okay ... I'm sick of my life ... I wish I could say it out loud ... I wish I could scream and get out wuts hiding behind my tears ...

I'm human .. I make mistakes .. Don't I deserve a chance ?? maybe like everybody else??

If someone loves u .. they forgive you .. they don't just leave u like that ..

Especially when they know that you need them ... you need to hear thier voices to feel alive ... so u can breath ... thier voices make u calm down and feel a little better

THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN .... you can save me ...

I'm sorry for everything I did to anyone .. I'm sorry If you got hurt coz of me ... what can I do to get all of you back ??? FORGIVE ME ...

I'm not happy and I never was ... I just knew that I can't be happy when there is someone out there sad or hurt coz of me ... You can make me strong ... You can save a life .. my life

I wish I could fix the pain thats bleeding inside of you & inside of me ..

You could never tell the next thing life could be ..

In your eyes .. the future never dies .. In your eyes

I wanna start this over again ... I want a life ... I want to live like all of you

I don't feel left out in the dark alone

I've been through alot ... If I hurt you ... plz know deep inside that I got hurt so much to have the power to hurt you ..

Bleeding hearts hurt other hearts sometimes when they are so fed up ... when they got filled with pain and tears

Everyone of us hurt someone ... If you think about it you know its true ... We all deserve a chance ... I deserve a chance

Give me a chance ... Change my life ... Pull me out of my prison ... Pull me out of here

Friends

Untitled - Simple plan

I open my eyes

I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that separate

Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it wont take away my love

And when the last one falls

When it's all said and done

It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl its only you and me

SORRY

Forgiveness

sorry if i keep on hurting you

sorry if you don't like the things i say or do

sorry if with you i always put up a fight

sorry i just can't do anything right

sorry if i'm way far from being an angel

except compared to an angel from hell

sorry if you think my excuses are lies

sorry if it's so difficult quiting my vice

sorry if i'm not too understanding

sorry for all the headaches and pain i bring

sorry if often it's hard for me to swallow mypride

sorry if often i'm too blinded by anger to see your side

sorry if i'm so complicated

sorry i keep making you feel frustrated

sorry i can't fight back the tears

sorry if i keep you away from your peers

sorry if i always complain about you not meeting my expectations

sorry if sometimes i can't fight all these temptations

sorry if i seem like a joke to you

sorry if i don't appreciate all those sweet things you do

sorry if i keep on repeating the same mistakes

sorry i say stupid things and i can't find the breaks

sorry i keep on hitting you when i'm mad

or ruin your day when mine's bad

sorry if i screw up being perfect for you

sorry i can never be the girl who's right for you

sorry if i'm such an awful girlfriend

sorry if...i can't even be your best friend

Paint Your Love

I'll paint my mood in shades of blue

Paint my soul to be with you

I'll sketch your lips in shaded stones

Draw your mouth to match my own

I'll draw your arms around my waist

And then all doubt I shall erase

I'll paint the rain that softly lands

On the crescents of your hands

I'll trace a hand to wipe your tears

A calming look to quell your fears

A silhouette of dark and light

While we hold each other tight

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart

Swearing that we'll never part

I'll paint the stars in the evening sky

Draw thier light into our eyes

I'll draw a striking touch of grace

That shows the gentleness of your face

I'll trace your hand to hold in mine

A touching kiss to mark the time

In swearing that we'll never part

I offer love you cannot buy

Devoted love until we die

Dreaming of Me

He's out there somewhere

Waiting for me just like I'm waiting for him

Feeling the same things I'm feeling right now

Thinking there may never be an end to the loneliness

The langing,

The void that grows with each passing minute

He's out there

Somewhere

Dreaming of me

It's so hard

It's so hard to say "I love you" and not draw back in tears

It's so hard to know that you are not there to help me face my fears

It's so hard to know the phone's at each, but I cannot hear your voice

It's so hard to know that this time breaking up was not my choice

It's so hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside

It's so hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide

It's so hard to live without you, when I need you more than words

To want to scream how much I love you but hold back and not be heared

It's so hard to go to sleep at night when I cannot dream of you

It's so hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new

It's so hard to not start crying when I hear your favourite song

It's so hard to sit and wonder where did I go wrong

It's so hard to live without you if I only would have known

I will never lover another, I would rather be alone

Alone

I didn't want to admit it

It was easier to lie

And hide the hurt and emptiness

To smile instead of cry

I didn't want to face the fact

My life is full of pain

And I long to stop my bleeding heart

And maybe smile again

'Cause I feel so forgotten

So betrayed and so alone

Without a trace of forgiveness

And no soul to call my own

I didn't want to admit the fact

I cannot spread my wings

And my happiness has melted

Into tears and other things

Its hard for me to hide the fact

My wishes have no home

And return to anguish

Bow my head and cry alone

Goodbye

And so it comes just as it is

A day no longer here

And through my trembling fingertips

The memories of the year

I wave farewell to all our dreams

I will forget you never

I wonder if our crazy times

Will stay with you forever

But as I cry in pain of losing

My lover and such good guy

I will not close the book and cry

"Farewell, this is the end"

For good byes create swift hellos

And days from now you'll see

That though it hurts to say goodbye

Your girl I will always be.

Stone By Stone

I have a wall you cannot see

Because it's deep inside of me

IT blockes my heart on every side

And helps emotions there to hide

You can't reach in

I can't reach out

You wonder what it's all about

The wall I built that you can't see

Results from insecurity

Each time my tender heart was hurt

The scars within grew worse and worse

So stone by stone

I built a wall

Thats now so thick it will not fall

Please understand that it's not you

continue trying to break through

I want so much to show myself

And love from you will really help

So bit by bit,

Chip at my wall,

Till stone by stone starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow

It's never easy to let go

Of hurts and failures long ingrained

Upon one's heart from years of pain

I'm so afraid

To let you in,

I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall

But seem to get nowhere at all

For stone upon each stone I've stacked

And left between them not a crack

the only way to make it fall

Is Imperfections in the wall

I did the best I could to build

A perfect wall, but there are still

A few small flaws, which are the key

to Braeking through the wall to me

Please use each flow

To cause a crack

To knock a stone off the stack.

Dried Out Roses

Old red roses, dry and dead,

Wilted petals fall instead,

He once gave me to keep.

Those days they lagged like lonely sleep,

And how they sit as time has passed,

Alone, without a love at last.

With shadows of our old love cry,

And wilted roses that won't die,

A phone with no one there to call,

I try to forget, but don't at all.

I once left your name to find,

I called sweet and good and kind.

But when I found it, it was gone,

You took it back and then moved on.

And so I sit here, cold and blue,

With nothing more for me to do,

But sit, with nothing left to say

And throw the roses all away.

I've prayed that you would decide to stay,

That I could keep you one more day.

And that you wouldn't turn away

And leave me in this place.

And so I'll face this world alone,

Cold as ice, and hard as stone.

But when our love has long been dead,

When we've moved on the road ahead,

And I'm lying wide awake in bed,

Your memory will be here.

I'm an ...

I don't know if im crazy or not. People who knows me say that i am crazy. Now these days, they say im totally crazy. I started to cut myself few months ago and i didn't know why. I was really pissed from something and I didn't know how to take out all the anger inside of me. Someone could've got hurt if I didn't stop myself somehow. I saw a knife front of me, I grapped it and cut my arm. Blood was everywhere and all I did was crying. I don't know whats going in my life anymore. I'm myself a mistake. Thats how I feel. I'm spending more time with myself than with other people. I don't know where to go or what to do.

Since that day i started to do it more often. My mom noticed a bandage on my arm and she asked me what happened. I said nothing but she took it off and saw it. My arm was like a map if I should describe it in details it will be very ugly. She yelled me and said what will people say about you. I looked at her and I wished to die at that moment. Is it the anger or my life that I wanna get red off. I dunno to be honest im lost.

I don't care what anyone will say about me. I don't know if its right or wrong or if i wanna continue my life like that. They chose my life for me.

I will live like everybody else but the different is a body without a soul.

أمل الرجوع

"أقسى مافي الحياة أن تلتمس العذر لمن يرقص على أشلائك"

هتفت به...لأجل الله عود لي ومن أجلي ومن أجل الجموع

رويدك..لاتقل لي نزو يوم بل الأيام ترهقها دروعي

فروحي قد تنحت لي برعد وشمسي قد نست معنى الطلوع

وقلبي ينسج الآلام حينا وحينا يرتجي أمل الرجوع

فقال لي:دعي عنك المآسي وإلا لن أفكر بالرجوع

فذا موت يفرق وجه حب ومحبوب بكى ضوء الشموع

أما قلنا بأن النهج صبر وإيمان سرى بين الضلوع

فكيف تكون جملتك اعتراض ودمعك للأصول وللفروع

نظرت إلى حياتي كيف صارت وقلت ولفني صمت الخشوع

إلهي..إنه مشكاة دربي وروحي قد بنا مني جذوعي

فوفقه وساعده ليرضي جلالك بالإنابة والخضوع

وأسعده بأخرى بعد دنيا ودع عنه مقاساة الدموع

أكرهك ... يا من كنت يوما أنا

حقيقة شعر قلمي بغته بعطش مفاجئ لحرفه
وإحياء نبضه وقد كنت ورايت عنه ورقه ومحبرته
كي يكف عن إجترار ألمه وحزنه فلما نزف كلماته لم أستطع وقف إصراره وعنده
فأتيت به هنا ووجدت متسعا ليفيض بدمعه
وما تجود به مقلتاه وقلبه
فأعذروا هفوات قلمي وأغفروا له شجنه

أكرهك...

قدر ما سببته لي من وجع وألم

وما خلفته لي من حطام

بالكاد أصبحت أعرف ملامحي

أتحسس قسامتي فأجد يأس وندم

أعبث بخصلات شعري لأجد الشيب لاح في مفرقي

هول خيانتك شطر قلبي

ناشدوني بالله " أسامحك"

لا لخاطرك

لراحتي أنا

لكن كيف أغفر لمن حطم أغلى أماني ؟

وأغتال إبتسامتي

أسر روحي في سجن الندم على ما وهبته له

أحسبني فعلته لأجل ربي وربك

فلم الندم ينهش أيامي؟

ربما لأن كثيرا منه كان هياما بك

أين كان إخلاصي ؟

أين ذهبت حينها نواياي ؟

حين الفراق

أحتسبته مرارا ... تضرعت بها " لك إلهي"

ولكن قسوتك وفرار الرحمة من قلبك

أدمت ماضي وحاضري وبت أخشى مستقبلي

بين يديك أحتضرت ألف مره فلم تسعف خفاقي

تحرك سكانا

أو تطرف عينك لألامي

" حبي "

لم يشفع لدى جبروتك وظلمك

" وحدكـ"

تعلم ما وهبته لك

يكفي أنه كان

" قلبي "

يقولون

سيأتي صباح تبكي ضياعي

فمتى يشرق هذا الأمل على ليلي !

سأنتظر

لأرى ثأر ربي

توعد خالقي وأقسم لينصرن المظلوم ولو بعد حين

كيف تجرأت على ظلمي

وأنا في حمى وكيلي وحسبي

كل الكره

رســـائل لن تصلك أبدا

رسالة إليك

احبك خارج حدود الهوى
أحبك يقينا وكذبا ويئسا
أحبك داءا يفوق الدواء
أحبك بدفء قهر الشتاء
ليمنحك زهرة جرحت أشواكها الكبرياء

رسالة إليك

ألا تكفي فقط كلمة أحبك

رسالة إليك

برغم القسوة والانكسار
ووحشة ليلك ووجع النهار
فالحياة بدونك امتداد عبثي للموت
وليس في الامر اختيار


رسالة إليك

الليلة قررت اعتزالك
وكان هذا إعلان بالانتحار
فقد مللت عناق الذكريات في انتظار
أحبك .. كاذبة
وفي المرآة بقايا انهيار
وقهوة مرة كرامة انتحرت على أسوار
عشق بعمق البحار
وفي النهاية سؤال .. ربما إليك أيضا ....
هل السعادة قدر كتب على البعض الشقاء في انتظاره
أم هي حالة من القناعة الزائفة بأن ما لا يمكنك الوصول إليه.... لا يوجد