Paint Your Love

I'll paint my mood in shades of blue

Paint my soul to be with you

I'll sketch your lips in shaded stones

Draw your mouth to match my own

I'll draw your arms around my waist

And then all doubt I shall erase

I'll paint the rain that softly lands

On the crescents of your hands

I'll trace a hand to wipe your tears

A calming look to quell your fears

A silhouette of dark and light

While we hold each other tight

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart

Swearing that we'll never part

I'll paint the stars in the evening sky

Draw thier light into our eyes

I'll draw a striking touch of grace

That shows the gentleness of your face

I'll trace your hand to hold in mine

A touching kiss to mark the time

In swearing that we'll never part

I offer love you cannot buy

Devoted love until we die

Dreaming of Me

He's out there somewhere

Waiting for me just like I'm waiting for him

Feeling the same things I'm feeling right now

Thinking there may never be an end to the loneliness

The langing,

The void that grows with each passing minute

He's out there

Somewhere

Dreaming of me

It's so hard

It's so hard to say "I love you" and not draw back in tears

It's so hard to know that you are not there to help me face my fears

It's so hard to know the phone's at each, but I cannot hear your voice

It's so hard to know that this time breaking up was not my choice

It's so hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside

It's so hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide

It's so hard to live without you, when I need you more than words

To want to scream how much I love you but hold back and not be heared

It's so hard to go to sleep at night when I cannot dream of you

It's so hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new

It's so hard to not start crying when I hear your favourite song

It's so hard to sit and wonder where did I go wrong

It's so hard to live without you if I only would have known

I will never lover another, I would rather be alone

Alone

I didn't want to admit it

It was easier to lie

And hide the hurt and emptiness

To smile instead of cry

I didn't want to face the fact

My life is full of pain

And I long to stop my bleeding heart

And maybe smile again

'Cause I feel so forgotten

So betrayed and so alone

Without a trace of forgiveness

And no soul to call my own

I didn't want to admit the fact

I cannot spread my wings

And my happiness has melted

Into tears and other things

Its hard for me to hide the fact

My wishes have no home

And return to anguish

Bow my head and cry alone

Goodbye

And so it comes just as it is

A day no longer here

And through my trembling fingertips

The memories of the year

I wave farewell to all our dreams

I will forget you never

I wonder if our crazy times

Will stay with you forever

But as I cry in pain of losing

My lover and such good guy

I will not close the book and cry

"Farewell, this is the end"

For good byes create swift hellos

And days from now you'll see

That though it hurts to say goodbye

Your girl I will always be.

Stone By Stone

I have a wall you cannot see

Because it's deep inside of me

IT blockes my heart on every side

And helps emotions there to hide

You can't reach in

I can't reach out

You wonder what it's all about

The wall I built that you can't see

Results from insecurity

Each time my tender heart was hurt

The scars within grew worse and worse

So stone by stone

I built a wall

Thats now so thick it will not fall

Please understand that it's not you

continue trying to break through

I want so much to show myself

And love from you will really help

So bit by bit,

Chip at my wall,

Till stone by stone starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow

It's never easy to let go

Of hurts and failures long ingrained

Upon one's heart from years of pain

I'm so afraid

To let you in,

I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall

But seem to get nowhere at all

For stone upon each stone I've stacked

And left between them not a crack

the only way to make it fall

Is Imperfections in the wall

I did the best I could to build

A perfect wall, but there are still

A few small flaws, which are the key

to Braeking through the wall to me

Please use each flow

To cause a crack

To knock a stone off the stack.

Dried Out Roses

Old red roses, dry and dead,

Wilted petals fall instead,

He once gave me to keep.

Those days they lagged like lonely sleep,

And how they sit as time has passed,

Alone, without a love at last.

With shadows of our old love cry,

And wilted roses that won't die,

A phone with no one there to call,

I try to forget, but don't at all.

I once left your name to find,

I called sweet and good and kind.

But when I found it, it was gone,

You took it back and then moved on.

And so I sit here, cold and blue,

With nothing more for me to do,

But sit, with nothing left to say

And throw the roses all away.

I've prayed that you would decide to stay,

That I could keep you one more day.

And that you wouldn't turn away

And leave me in this place.

And so I'll face this world alone,

Cold as ice, and hard as stone.

But when our love has long been dead,

When we've moved on the road ahead,

And I'm lying wide awake in bed,

Your memory will be here.

I'm an ...

I don't know if im crazy or not. People who knows me say that i am crazy. Now these days, they say im totally crazy. I started to cut myself few months ago and i didn't know why. I was really pissed from something and I didn't know how to take out all the anger inside of me. Someone could've got hurt if I didn't stop myself somehow. I saw a knife front of me, I grapped it and cut my arm. Blood was everywhere and all I did was crying. I don't know whats going in my life anymore. I'm myself a mistake. Thats how I feel. I'm spending more time with myself than with other people. I don't know where to go or what to do.

Since that day i started to do it more often. My mom noticed a bandage on my arm and she asked me what happened. I said nothing but she took it off and saw it. My arm was like a map if I should describe it in details it will be very ugly. She yelled me and said what will people say about you. I looked at her and I wished to die at that moment. Is it the anger or my life that I wanna get red off. I dunno to be honest im lost.

I don't care what anyone will say about me. I don't know if its right or wrong or if i wanna continue my life like that. They chose my life for me.

I will live like everybody else but the different is a body without a soul.